Feelings, Friends, and Filesystems

I don't know why I let my mom get to me. I'm surrounded by people who care about me and out of all of them I listen to her. I'm just thankful I have my friends. Even thought most of them don't know it, they really mean a lot to me. They always comfort me and let me know I'm loved. And that is a really good feeling.

I do feel comfortable with myself again. I am who I am. I know that now and I'm not letting anyone tell me otherwise. I am still contemplating coming out to a few of my friends. They should know and they will eventually anyway. I just want to be able to be myself and not hide who I am. I deserve that and so do they. Most of them are pretty cool even if they do make a lot of derogatory comments.

If Denny (his name's actually Dan, I don't know why I gave him an alias before because he's out) can be their friend, then so can I. Also they're friends with this other guy named Brian who I'm pretty sure is gay too. So I don't know what I'm afraid of. Maybe it's that once I do it, I can't take it back and it frightens me. This could be a huge mistake, and once I make it there are no do overs. But I think it'll all be okay. And just to be safe, I'll wait until after filming the movie to say anything.

But enough about that. It seems like that's all I ever think about anymore so here's something new: I was working on my computers today. I'm going to set up a Windows 2000 file and print server on my old computer because my external hard drive is formated with NTFS. And I just want to keep things simple and I know my way around Windows much better than Linux. But the second a better NTFS Linux driver binary comes out, I'm totally switching.

I upgraded from Breezy Badger to Dapper Drake (Versions of Ubuntu) yesterday and I'm not at all pleased. Sure it runs faster and looks better, but my sound stopped working. I think I have to reinstall the ALSA binary like I did when I ran Slackware, but it's a pain in the ass. (not the installation, just finding the damn thing) I'm also having a problem with my monitor's refresh rate. 60hz at 1600X1200 is completely unacceptable! And my CD burner won't work, but oddly, my new DVD burner will. (thanks again, Stephanie) Dapper did however come with the latest version of Firefox which is awesome because 1.0.3 kind of sucked.

Oh, but I have great news. I have a 10 year old Compaq Ipaq (MP3 player) that I've been having a problem with lately. It doesn't work like a removable hard drive, so I always had to install the driver and then Musicmatch Jukebox to get music on it. I tried just writing to the MMC, but the device uses a proprietary filesystem that I was unable to locate a windows driver for until today! It's a tiny little application that mounts the card and makes it a breeze to add and remove files. No more wasted batteries, songs that won't play, crashes, or reaching around to find the USB port. And most importantly: I can finally uninstall Musicmatch!

Once again I would like to thank my four best friends for being there for me when I was down. You know who you are. I really love you guys.