Why does it seem like everything is against me all the time? Like, I have to work so hard to be happy, but then someone makes a mean or hurtful comment and all my hard work goes to waste, which makes me feel even worse. I'd blame it on karma or something to that effect, but a lot of times it seems that something horrible happens immediately after I do something good.
I gave my mom that shelf because I know she needs the money and I lost Internet access for 2 days. That normally would have been bearable, but I needed to send out some important emails regarding costumes today. Then I let myself get so worked up over it that I seriously thought I failed at the entire job because of it. Then the Internet came back up and I felt really stupid for worrying so much about it.
I try to do everything right. I try to do things for people as much as I can because I know I'm not really worth anything, but it always seems to turn out wrong. No matter what I do it seems that no one is ever really satisfied. Or maybe I'm not satisfied with myself. I know I could do so much better if I just tried, but something always stops me. Sometimes it's bad luck or karma, but sometimes it's just me being lazy.
Everything is just going wrong right now. This week, this month, this year. I need to get a job, get out of here, go back to college, and start making some films. I don't know why I don't. I could make a film right now if I wanted. but there's always something that stops me. I could probably get a job if I tried harder, and I could convince someone to let me move in with them. But I don't. And I don't know why.
But there is one thing I do have. I have someone to comfort me when I'm down and encourage me to do what I really want. That's enough to make me feel decent about myself. And that's what I need right now.
Also John, Paul, Ringo, and George help.
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More people need to get into the fake arrogance thing. Let people sweat about making you happy, rather than the other way around. Yes, it is good to be the king.
ReplyDeleteStop thinking you're worthless! You're a wonderful person and I'm lucky to have you!
ReplyDelete1) you are far from worthless
ReplyDelete2) I've never been disappointed by you
3) you are amazing
4) I liked the Beatles at the end
"You say goodbye and I say hello, hello hello, I don't know why you say goodbye I say hello"
Thanks guys, I'm feeling a little better now that I shared. I think that was the quickest response in the history of my blog, but what are you all doing up so early?
ReplyDeleteI would miss you like no other, but michworks.org had this job posted, and it includes housing. Haven't you always dreamed of being a migrant farm worker?
ReplyDeleteJob Order Number: 2582232 Job last updated: June 07, 2007
Company name: H2A/BERVILLE FARMS #2
Job title: Vegetable Farmworker
Job type: Temporary - Full Time
Hours per week: 40
Job(s) available: 30
Job location: Riley
Salary: From $ 9.65 To $ 9.65 per hour.
Job description: Prepare soil for planting, planting crops, maintaining crops, harvest crops, packing vegetables, bending, stooping, stretching and lifting up to 50 lbs regularly. Work is done in adverse weather conditions. Licensed housing provided. Duration of job is 7/16/07 - 10/31/07
Job requirements: This job requires less than high school education and less than 1 years of experience.
Directions to business: I-69 to Exit 180 Riley Center Road, take a right off exit ramp till dead end - turn right and farm is on the right.
Please apply by Phone, by Mail, by Fax, in person or by Email .
Contact: BENITA RENDON Business name: H2A/BERVILLE FARMS #2
Phone: (810)664-1680 Ext: 19 Address: 550 Lake Drive
Fax: (810)664-6740 P.O. Box 600
Email: rendon-murrayb@michigan.gov Lapeer, MI 48446
Although that does kill two birds with one stone and comes out to roughly $400 a week to put toward my loan and other debt, I don't think I could get through the "bending, stooping, stretching and lifting up to 50 lbs regularly." Thanks for thinking of me though. :)
ReplyDeleteLet's have bizarre celebrations
ReplyDeleteLets forget who forget what forget where
We'll have bizarre celebrations
I'll play the Satyr in Cypris, you the bride being stripped bare, bare
Let's pretend we don't exist
Let's pretend we're in Antartica
Let's pretend we don't exist
Let's pretend we're in Antartica
Let's have bizarre celebrations
Lets forget when forget what forget how
We'll have bizarre celebrations
We'll play Tristan and Isolde, but make sure I see white sails, sails
Let's pretend we don't exist
Let's pretend we're in Antartica
Let's pretend we don't exist
Let's pretend we're in Antartica
Maybe I'll never die, I'll just keep growing younger with you
And you'll grow younger too
Now it seems too lovely to be true, but I know the best things always do
Let's pretend we don't exist
Let's pretend we're in Antartica
Let's pretend we don't exist
Let's pretend we're in Antartica
Let's pretend we don't exist
Let's pretend we're in Antartica
Let's pretend we don't exist
Let's pretend we're in Antartica
Let's pretend we don't exist
Let's pretend we're in Antartica
Let's pretend we don't exist
Let's pretend we're in Antartica
Let's pretend we don't exist
Let's pretend we're in Antartica
Let's pretend we don't exist
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4UAUs_KhPg
Trippy.
ReplyDeleteDon't even pretend like you didn't like it; I know you secretly sing it to yourself when no one is watching
ReplyDeleteIf you look, you'll notice that I favorited the video.
ReplyDelete