The first five people to respond to this post will get something made by me!
My choice. For you.
This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:
* I make no guarantees that you will like what I make!
* What I create will be with you in mind.
* It'll be done sometime this year (2009)
* You have no clue what it's going to be. It may be something written, some physical thing made, could be anything at all, but I will make it myself. It's entirely my choice what it is. No quibbles, no refunds.
* I reserve the right to do something extremely strange.
The catch?
Oh, the catch is that you put this in your blog as well. If you don't.. You don't get anything.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Friday, January 23, 2009
Will Someone Please Fucking Shoot Me Already?
We have a new operations manager (second in command) at work. I don't think she likes me much. On Monday she announced that some of the oscar tanks were dirty, which apparently means 'clean them now.' I would have cleaned them if I wasn't already swamped doing stuff like, I don't know, my fucking job. It's bad enough that I was opening birds, with extra instructions because of mites, but I was also working with Anne who doesn't get her shit done on Mondays because she takes fucking forever filling out paperwork.
On Wednesday, she asked me if I was going to clean them before our DM came in. I told her it was the next thing on my list, which it was, after I finished what I was working on (again, my fucking job). It's exactly what I did when I finished opening that morning - spot clean the first 142 tanks. Apparently, she didn't believe me.
She didn't say anything to me, though. She told Jonathan something to the effect that I have an attitude problem. That really pisses me off because I've worked there for a year longer than she has, and she has the balls to come in and badmouth me. I work my ass off at this job fixing shit other people fuck up and doing everyone else's work so they can slack off. I work up to 12 hour shifts because everyone in my department calls in sick. I take on extra days whenever people need me to. I do work that's not even on the list because I know it won't get done otherwise. I don't need some new bitch to come in and tell me I'm not doing my mother fucking job.
I spent the last 3 days at my mom's house trying to build her shed. The one that I put on a credit card. The one that she's going to put her shit in so I can have a fucking place to sleep when I move back in. She promised she'd have it cleared out by the time I needed to move stuff, but I guess she still doesn't keep her promises. Sheds generally need to be built somewhere flat and level. Our shed is built on neither, and it's no longer square. That makes the holes in the roof panels not line up. Awesome, now I have to go back again this week to fix the fucker and try to finish it before I move out next week.
I also still haven't told her about Jason and me. I don't know how to bring it up, and she stopped asking. I feel really horrible about lying and don't want to fucking hide it all the time. I want to be able to put up the picture of us he gave me for out anniversary. I want to not have to minimize my email when someone walks in the room. I want to just be happy as myself, but I don't know if I'm strong enough to.
On Wednesday, she asked me if I was going to clean them before our DM came in. I told her it was the next thing on my list, which it was, after I finished what I was working on (again, my fucking job). It's exactly what I did when I finished opening that morning - spot clean the first 142 tanks. Apparently, she didn't believe me.
She didn't say anything to me, though. She told Jonathan something to the effect that I have an attitude problem. That really pisses me off because I've worked there for a year longer than she has, and she has the balls to come in and badmouth me. I work my ass off at this job fixing shit other people fuck up and doing everyone else's work so they can slack off. I work up to 12 hour shifts because everyone in my department calls in sick. I take on extra days whenever people need me to. I do work that's not even on the list because I know it won't get done otherwise. I don't need some new bitch to come in and tell me I'm not doing my mother fucking job.
I spent the last 3 days at my mom's house trying to build her shed. The one that I put on a credit card. The one that she's going to put her shit in so I can have a fucking place to sleep when I move back in. She promised she'd have it cleared out by the time I needed to move stuff, but I guess she still doesn't keep her promises. Sheds generally need to be built somewhere flat and level. Our shed is built on neither, and it's no longer square. That makes the holes in the roof panels not line up. Awesome, now I have to go back again this week to fix the fucker and try to finish it before I move out next week.
I also still haven't told her about Jason and me. I don't know how to bring it up, and she stopped asking. I feel really horrible about lying and don't want to fucking hide it all the time. I want to be able to put up the picture of us he gave me for out anniversary. I want to not have to minimize my email when someone walks in the room. I want to just be happy as myself, but I don't know if I'm strong enough to.
Monday, January 19, 2009
So I bought an 1998 Oldsmobile Delta 88. It's a nice roomy car, which I really like, but I've been having some problems with it.
First, the ABS is a little hyperactive. Every time I drive in the snow (every day since the day after I bought the car) the brakes make the most obnoxious clanking noise when I brake. Apparently, that's normal anti-lock brake behavior, to an extent. I don't have money to get them checked out, but I've been reading a lot on the Internet. It wasn't the noise that made me nervous, as much as the inability to stop. The solution: Pull the ABS fuse. Now I can control my speed in the snow without the brakes going retarded.
My wipers work on and off. Sometimes they seem to work fine unless it's snowing or raining. That's fine for really short trips, like home to work and back, but I'm about to move 18 miles from my job. That's not so fine. I replaced the fuse when I pulled the other one, and they seem to work again, but I'm not sure if it will last or not since it was an intermittent problem to begin with. The fuse I pulled didn't look blown, but it had some weird burn marks on it, which may be indicative of a much bigger problem.
The last thing is that my interior lights don't work. The door lights, the overheads, the gauge cluster back light, even the radio and gear selector/odometer light (when the headlights are on). I think the gauge cluster faintly glows, but it could just be my eyes. Either way it's kind of annoying. Also, I don't know how to fix that one.
It's also costing me more money than I really have, even though I got a pretty good deal and didn't have to pay sales tax (because the dealership was desperate to make a sale). My insurance only comes up to $147, which is a Hell of a lot less than I was expecting. Gas is another concern. Since it's such a big car, it doesn't really handle fuel very well, people also weren't really worried about fuel economy in the 90's either. I wonder how much it would cost to convert to biodesiel.
First, the ABS is a little hyperactive. Every time I drive in the snow (every day since the day after I bought the car) the brakes make the most obnoxious clanking noise when I brake. Apparently, that's normal anti-lock brake behavior, to an extent. I don't have money to get them checked out, but I've been reading a lot on the Internet. It wasn't the noise that made me nervous, as much as the inability to stop. The solution: Pull the ABS fuse. Now I can control my speed in the snow without the brakes going retarded.
My wipers work on and off. Sometimes they seem to work fine unless it's snowing or raining. That's fine for really short trips, like home to work and back, but I'm about to move 18 miles from my job. That's not so fine. I replaced the fuse when I pulled the other one, and they seem to work again, but I'm not sure if it will last or not since it was an intermittent problem to begin with. The fuse I pulled didn't look blown, but it had some weird burn marks on it, which may be indicative of a much bigger problem.
The last thing is that my interior lights don't work. The door lights, the overheads, the gauge cluster back light, even the radio and gear selector/odometer light (when the headlights are on). I think the gauge cluster faintly glows, but it could just be my eyes. Either way it's kind of annoying. Also, I don't know how to fix that one.
It's also costing me more money than I really have, even though I got a pretty good deal and didn't have to pay sales tax (because the dealership was desperate to make a sale). My insurance only comes up to $147, which is a Hell of a lot less than I was expecting. Gas is another concern. Since it's such a big car, it doesn't really handle fuel very well, people also weren't really worried about fuel economy in the 90's either. I wonder how much it would cost to convert to biodesiel.
Monday, January 05, 2009
I decided I don't need to purchase a particularly nice car. I've been looking at an '04 Impala for about $6,500 in Port Huron. I really want it because it's reliable, powerful, comfortable, and comes with some nice features. It's all around a great car. But it's not the car I'm going to get.
A lot in Marine City has a '95 Cavalier for about $1600. It's not as powerful or comfortable, and it's got 170,000 miles. But at $160 a month I could have it paid off in a year and still afford my insurance and credit card payments. That's what I need right now, so that's what I'm leaning toward. That is, of course, if they give me financing with no money down.
A lot in Marine City has a '95 Cavalier for about $1600. It's not as powerful or comfortable, and it's got 170,000 miles. But at $160 a month I could have it paid off in a year and still afford my insurance and credit card payments. That's what I need right now, so that's what I'm leaning toward. That is, of course, if they give me financing with no money down.
Friday, January 02, 2009
2009
So, my resolutions are as follows:
To be more proactive to my happiness.
To eat less junk food.
To exercise more.
That's it. Happy New Years everyone.
To be more proactive to my happiness.
To eat less junk food.
To exercise more.
That's it. Happy New Years everyone.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
On Second Thoguht
I totally changed my mind about what I want for Christmas this year.
What I'd really like is to finally be done with the transition of being completely comfortable with myself. All this time I was hoping for the people around me to get over it, but I realized something: I'm always going to be around new people, and I can't spend my entire life wishing for everyone else to be okay with who I am. I think if I was comfortable with who I am, I would care a lot less what other people think of me.
So I don't need my mom to accept me, Jason's parents to like me, any of my friends or family to accept me. I just need to accept myself and everything will start getting better.
That is the only thing I really want to come out of this year.
What I'd really like is to finally be done with the transition of being completely comfortable with myself. All this time I was hoping for the people around me to get over it, but I realized something: I'm always going to be around new people, and I can't spend my entire life wishing for everyone else to be okay with who I am. I think if I was comfortable with who I am, I would care a lot less what other people think of me.
So I don't need my mom to accept me, Jason's parents to like me, any of my friends or family to accept me. I just need to accept myself and everything will start getting better.
That is the only thing I really want to come out of this year.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
I Need to Start Getting More Sleep
I just applied for a small car loan at my bank which I would rather have done in person than online, but I'm running out of time and don't know how long it will take to process. I've been putting it off for a while because I'm afraid I won't get it. Without it, I won't have a vehicle and I'm moving 22 miles away from PetSmart in a little over a month. I know it's going to cost a lot to insure, fuel, and pay for, but I don't really have many viable alternatives right now.
I could try to find a super cheap apartment that's withing walking distance from my job, but that's not really likely. The cheapest I recall seeing was $600 a month, which is way too much. That doesn't include utilities and Internet access, either. Of course, I might be able to find something cheaper more toward the Mt. Clemens area, but there are two problems with that: I don't want to live in an area that's any less safe than where I live now, and I'd have to find a job that will pay me enough to live on right away.
I'm just in kind of a shitty situation right now and I don't know what to do so I stay up most of the night worrying about it. That makes it hard to work 6 to noon without feeling run down by the time I leave. And that makes it hard to create the illusion that everything is okay. And that makes me feel bad for making everyone else feel worse.
I could try to find a super cheap apartment that's withing walking distance from my job, but that's not really likely. The cheapest I recall seeing was $600 a month, which is way too much. That doesn't include utilities and Internet access, either. Of course, I might be able to find something cheaper more toward the Mt. Clemens area, but there are two problems with that: I don't want to live in an area that's any less safe than where I live now, and I'd have to find a job that will pay me enough to live on right away.
I'm just in kind of a shitty situation right now and I don't know what to do so I stay up most of the night worrying about it. That makes it hard to work 6 to noon without feeling run down by the time I leave. And that makes it hard to create the illusion that everything is okay. And that makes me feel bad for making everyone else feel worse.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Just Another Average Post
I feel like I always let everyone down. My mom needs me to help her move all the shit from her garage by Friday (which we had been doing before her car broke down), but I don't really have a way to get there. I feel like it's sort of my fault because I've been putting off some of the bigger things and now that it needs to get done, I still don't have a car. I don't even know if I'll be able to make it there for Christmas because work might be retarded and schedule me at 6AM the day after.
That's just one of the ways the holidays have me run down. Of course, I've been working extra hours at work, taking on peoples' hours when I can, and getting a lot less sleep (which is really something considering how little sleep I normally get). But, all that doesn't really matter. I've spent all the money I have available to me. That keeps me up at night, worrying about how big of a dent my week in Tennessee is going to make on January's rent and my Mastercard. On top of that, I still don't know if I'm going to be able to get a loan for a car or find a really crappy one for the amount of money I still have in my savings.
But Christmas is wonderful, so I'm not supposed to be unhappy.
That's just one of the ways the holidays have me run down. Of course, I've been working extra hours at work, taking on peoples' hours when I can, and getting a lot less sleep (which is really something considering how little sleep I normally get). But, all that doesn't really matter. I've spent all the money I have available to me. That keeps me up at night, worrying about how big of a dent my week in Tennessee is going to make on January's rent and my Mastercard. On top of that, I still don't know if I'm going to be able to get a loan for a car or find a really crappy one for the amount of money I still have in my savings.
But Christmas is wonderful, so I'm not supposed to be unhappy.
Friday, November 28, 2008
Christmas 2008
Since Black Friday marks the first day of Christmas I thought I'd share what I would really like this year. Some of them are pretty selfish, I know. My list is as follows:
1. To be free of debt
2. To be appreciated
3. To be surrounded by fewer idiots
4. To be loved for who I really am
5. For all my friends to get along together
6. Some kind of purpose for life
7. A little confidence
8. The ability to focus
9. For my parents to accept me
10. To live in a world with less conflict
1. To be free of debt
2. To be appreciated
3. To be surrounded by fewer idiots
4. To be loved for who I really am
5. For all my friends to get along together
6. Some kind of purpose for life
7. A little confidence
8. The ability to focus
9. For my parents to accept me
10. To live in a world with less conflict
Monday, November 24, 2008
I Think I Need a Vacation from Life
I paid Connie a visit yesterday. There was a network problem with her husband's computer (which Jason and I couldn't figure out), and she needed to copy a large amount of data between two USB hard drives. 375 gigs is a lot of data to move between two drives on the same interface, so I think it'll take a few days. She gave me a printer though, which I've been needing for some time. Of course, now that I have it I don't remember what I needed to print.
I saw Julie too, but she didn't really say much. Luke asked me to build some space ships out of Lego's for him, which was really fun. I don't really get to build much stuff anymore. Which reminds me, I've been working on a new theme for my blog and myspace, but I'm kind of rusty at Photoshop, so it's been taking a while.
I've also been doing some (possibly the bulk) Christmas and birthday shopping. It was mostly books, but I got my mom some nice candles at Meijer. There's not much else I can say there. I checked out the Biggby Coffee chain, which was kind of pricey, but so much better than Starbucks. I just wish there was a location a little closer than Garfield and Hall.
I saw Julie too, but she didn't really say much. Luke asked me to build some space ships out of Lego's for him, which was really fun. I don't really get to build much stuff anymore. Which reminds me, I've been working on a new theme for my blog and myspace, but I'm kind of rusty at Photoshop, so it's been taking a while.
I've also been doing some (possibly the bulk) Christmas and birthday shopping. It was mostly books, but I got my mom some nice candles at Meijer. There's not much else I can say there. I checked out the Biggby Coffee chain, which was kind of pricey, but so much better than Starbucks. I just wish there was a location a little closer than Garfield and Hall.
Friday, November 07, 2008
Coming Out Part 42
When Heather (my manager) pestered me about my personal life a week ago, I realized just how tired I really am of lying to everyone. When I added her to myspace, I also sent a request to some of the people I work with who weren't already on my list. Doug, Jonathan, Rebecca. The people I see all the time and would consider friends (I don't dislike Jonathan like I did when I started working there). Myspace probably isn't the best way to come out, but I couldn't think of a better plan.
I'm glad that everyone took it well, even though it's really sad that the phrase 'took it well' is needed in the first place. Heather obviously didn't care and we still have conversations about Jason. Looking further into it, Rebecca hasn't logged into her myspace in a few months, but that's fine. It turns out Jonathan is gay too, so it's all good. Apparently he never would have guessed because I don't 'act gay.' That made me smile.
I went to see Zack and Miri Make a Porno yesterday. The entire movie made me laugh. I would defiantly recommend it to anyone who laughs at dirty jokes. I've also been playing Spore. Even though I have a legitimate purchased copy (not necessarily by me) that had presumably been installed on less than 5 computers, I couldn't use it and had to acquire the game by other means. Nevertheless, it's still a very fun game worth picking up.
That's it for today on my hapy, happy, blog.
I'm glad that everyone took it well, even though it's really sad that the phrase 'took it well' is needed in the first place. Heather obviously didn't care and we still have conversations about Jason. Looking further into it, Rebecca hasn't logged into her myspace in a few months, but that's fine. It turns out Jonathan is gay too, so it's all good. Apparently he never would have guessed because I don't 'act gay.' That made me smile.
I went to see Zack and Miri Make a Porno yesterday. The entire movie made me laugh. I would defiantly recommend it to anyone who laughs at dirty jokes. I've also been playing Spore. Even though I have a legitimate purchased copy (not necessarily by me) that had presumably been installed on less than 5 computers, I couldn't use it and had to acquire the game by other means. Nevertheless, it's still a very fun game worth picking up.
That's it for today on my hapy, happy, blog.
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
A Smashing Good Time
Yesterday I got to vote for the first time. That went well, except I had to get up at 7 am to do so. That wasn't so fun. Proposal 8, (rebanning gay marriage in California) went through, which is really retarded. @.@
While we were driving to Connie's house Jason turned down Rattle Run instead of Wadhams, which didn't really make that big of a difference because we would have gotten to our destination eventually. But then Jason made a right onto Palms (by my request) and turned around as soon as it turned into a dirt road. After that, Wadahms was closed, but Jason insisted that the sign was a lie. It wasn't, so we turned around again. Good times.
I spent this afternoon at Connie's, eating a nice dinner, fixing a few computers, and breaking some shit. She had a really old computer that she wanted to get rid of, but was worried about someone getting the information from her hard drive. The solution: a crowbar and an axe. Fun stuff. Dinner was really good, too. Dinosaur. Like Thanksgiving, only more pleasant.
While we were driving to Connie's house Jason turned down Rattle Run instead of Wadhams, which didn't really make that big of a difference because we would have gotten to our destination eventually. But then Jason made a right onto Palms (by my request) and turned around as soon as it turned into a dirt road. After that, Wadahms was closed, but Jason insisted that the sign was a lie. It wasn't, so we turned around again. Good times.
I spent this afternoon at Connie's, eating a nice dinner, fixing a few computers, and breaking some shit. She had a really old computer that she wanted to get rid of, but was worried about someone getting the information from her hard drive. The solution: a crowbar and an axe. Fun stuff. Dinner was really good, too. Dinosaur. Like Thanksgiving, only more pleasant.
Monday, November 03, 2008
Familiar Faces
Halloween was good. I stayed home with Steph and Jason and watched Halloween H20. I picked up some cheap vodka and some sort of cherry rum that didn't mix well with the Dr. Pepper. There were also 2 large party subs involved. The evening before I helped Steph's little cousin carve a pumpkin in exchange for some seeds. They were pretty good.
One of my managers has started asking me questions about my 'girlfriend' the other day. She first asked me how long I had a girlfriend a few weeks ago, after a particular event. Jonathan was standing directly behind me, so I didn't really say anything about it. The other day she asked me a number of questions that caught me off guard and again, I didn't correct her. I felt really awful about not saying anything, so I added her to my myspace. This morning she asked me about my boyfriend and we had a nice little conversation. Happy ending.
That's all that's really been going on. :)
One of my managers has started asking me questions about my 'girlfriend' the other day. She first asked me how long I had a girlfriend a few weeks ago, after a particular event. Jonathan was standing directly behind me, so I didn't really say anything about it. The other day she asked me a number of questions that caught me off guard and again, I didn't correct her. I felt really awful about not saying anything, so I added her to my myspace. This morning she asked me about my boyfriend and we had a nice little conversation. Happy ending.
That's all that's really been going on. :)
Friday, October 17, 2008
I've Got a Funny Feeling We're All Born to Lose
I haven't done anything constructive since the last time I posted, hence there was no need to blog. I've been suffering severe bouts of on and off depression for the last few weeks. That's always fantastic. Last week I injured my arm in a horrific skateboarding accident. It still hurts when I rotate my lower arm, but it feels so much better than a week ago.
Sometimes I just want to be someone else. I don't care who, just anyone. I'm really dissatisfied with myself and my life. Maybe if I got out more and tried to do more constructive things I'd feel better. I don't know where to start, though.
There is nowhere I can apply myself, or I haven't found a place to. I want to do all these things with my life, but I have nowhere to start. I want to be a chef (not a short order cook), but I have neither the money to buy ingredients nor anyone to really cook for. I want to be a graphic designer, working on posters and similar media, but I don't have a subject. I want to be a filmmaker, but I have nowhere to just gather some people, pick up a camera and start shooting. I want to be a game designer, but I don't have a platform on which I could create something halfway decent without starting from scratch.
Sometimes I just want to be someone else. I don't care who, just anyone. I'm really dissatisfied with myself and my life. Maybe if I got out more and tried to do more constructive things I'd feel better. I don't know where to start, though.
There is nowhere I can apply myself, or I haven't found a place to. I want to do all these things with my life, but I have nowhere to start. I want to be a chef (not a short order cook), but I have neither the money to buy ingredients nor anyone to really cook for. I want to be a graphic designer, working on posters and similar media, but I don't have a subject. I want to be a filmmaker, but I have nowhere to just gather some people, pick up a camera and start shooting. I want to be a game designer, but I don't have a platform on which I could create something halfway decent without starting from scratch.
Thursday, October 02, 2008
Economic Bullshit
I'm getting really sick of having to worry about small amounts of money.
15 cents. The amount I went overlimit on my MasterCard, pulling out money for an emergency. The bank then proceeded to charge me $40 for it, days after I sent in a payment, putting me back under my limit. Then they charged me a $20 fee for charging me the $40. All because I miscalculated how much the cash advance fee would be.
14 Cents. The amount I overdrafted by when Heather forgot her money for a movie ticket. Even though I put money back in the bank that night, they still transfered $50 from my credit card as "overdraft protection." They charged me $9 for that, but it put me over my credit limit again so I expect to get another $60 in charges. Thank God I transfered $165 to keep myself from going over a third time after the newest charges.
36 cents. The amount of money the $200 I once had in my Max Saver account accrued in the 3 years it was sitting there. Good thing I saved it, huh?
$100. The amount of money that magically appeared in my bank account the other day, with no trace in my statement. Too bad I already spent it on food, some pajamas, and a movie (which I probably shouldn't have gone to). I hope they don't want to take it back in a few days.
How the Hell am I supposed to be able to save for a car or education, or even a decent computer if 5/3 Bank keeps stealing all my money? It doesn't help that I live in a state where all the governor sends all our jobs overseas, forcing skilled auto workers to take the shitty jobs, and unskilled and unexperienced workers to be remain unemployed for years. Even if I had a car, gas prices are so artificially inflated that I couldn't afford to commute everyday.
Now I'm at the limit on both of my credit cards, my credit score is going down, and I have to get a student loan and financing on a car. I won't be eligible for a decent rate so I'll get something like 26.5% and end up paying about $8,000 extra that I won't have. It's no wonder so many people default on their loans and the banks are losing so much money.
And now Nelnet sent me an email telling me that my address and phone number aren't up to date and it's imperative that I change them so that I can continue making payments, even though I paid it off 2 months ago. If they fuck me now I'm not going to pay them another penny. They lent me money, I repaid it, I paid the interest, they made their money. End of story.
What the fuck are we all supposed to do?
15 cents. The amount I went overlimit on my MasterCard, pulling out money for an emergency. The bank then proceeded to charge me $40 for it, days after I sent in a payment, putting me back under my limit. Then they charged me a $20 fee for charging me the $40. All because I miscalculated how much the cash advance fee would be.
14 Cents. The amount I overdrafted by when Heather forgot her money for a movie ticket. Even though I put money back in the bank that night, they still transfered $50 from my credit card as "overdraft protection." They charged me $9 for that, but it put me over my credit limit again so I expect to get another $60 in charges. Thank God I transfered $165 to keep myself from going over a third time after the newest charges.
36 cents. The amount of money the $200 I once had in my Max Saver account accrued in the 3 years it was sitting there. Good thing I saved it, huh?
$100. The amount of money that magically appeared in my bank account the other day, with no trace in my statement. Too bad I already spent it on food, some pajamas, and a movie (which I probably shouldn't have gone to). I hope they don't want to take it back in a few days.
How the Hell am I supposed to be able to save for a car or education, or even a decent computer if 5/3 Bank keeps stealing all my money? It doesn't help that I live in a state where all the governor sends all our jobs overseas, forcing skilled auto workers to take the shitty jobs, and unskilled and unexperienced workers to be remain unemployed for years. Even if I had a car, gas prices are so artificially inflated that I couldn't afford to commute everyday.
Now I'm at the limit on both of my credit cards, my credit score is going down, and I have to get a student loan and financing on a car. I won't be eligible for a decent rate so I'll get something like 26.5% and end up paying about $8,000 extra that I won't have. It's no wonder so many people default on their loans and the banks are losing so much money.
And now Nelnet sent me an email telling me that my address and phone number aren't up to date and it's imperative that I change them so that I can continue making payments, even though I paid it off 2 months ago. If they fuck me now I'm not going to pay them another penny. They lent me money, I repaid it, I paid the interest, they made their money. End of story.
What the fuck are we all supposed to do?
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
it's All About the Games
I've revised the list of companies I'd like to work for. Here are my tops picks (in no particular order):
Insomniac Games, the developers of the Ratchet & Clank series. The reason I like Insomniac is that their games generally have strong storylines with well fleshed out characters. I've always been a fan of platformers and sometimes it's fun to forget about realistic graphics and just play. The benefits are good; 100% employer paid medical/dental/vision insurance, paid vacation, post production vacations, health insurance plans, and some really nice facilities. The catch is that the only office that's hiring much right now is in North Carolina, not my state of choice.
Rockstar games, the developers of Grand Theft Auto, among many other great games. It would be nice to get a chance to work on the next few GTA games. They have positions in many areas I'd be interested, but I'm having trouble deciding on one. The office I'd like to work at (San Diego) is a 3 hour drive from where Jason wants to go (Los Angeles), and there's also an office in NYC, in case Jason decides to go there instead.
Valve Software, creators of Half-Life and it's many branches. Unfortunately, also the creators of the Steam content delivery system. Valve has really been pushing graphics and physics forward for years with their Goldsource and Source engines. Their games are also heavily based in real science, which makes them unusually interesting. Unfortunatly, their head office is in Bellevue, WA.
Square Enix, who has produced innumerable RPGs, including Final Fantasy VII (along with the lesser Final Fantasy games). I really like RPGs and it might be fun to work on them, especially in the sci-fi genre. The US office is in El Segundo, part of Los Angeles. There really isn't much information available on Square's career page, but since the main office is in Tokyo, I'm going to assume bilingualism is a preferred skill, and I' not taking up Japanese any time soon.
I'm still left to decide which specific aspect of game design I want to go into. Right now I'm leaving it at the two main branches that interest me: programming and design.
Insomniac Games, the developers of the Ratchet & Clank series. The reason I like Insomniac is that their games generally have strong storylines with well fleshed out characters. I've always been a fan of platformers and sometimes it's fun to forget about realistic graphics and just play. The benefits are good; 100% employer paid medical/dental/vision insurance, paid vacation, post production vacations, health insurance plans, and some really nice facilities. The catch is that the only office that's hiring much right now is in North Carolina, not my state of choice.
Rockstar games, the developers of Grand Theft Auto, among many other great games. It would be nice to get a chance to work on the next few GTA games. They have positions in many areas I'd be interested, but I'm having trouble deciding on one. The office I'd like to work at (San Diego) is a 3 hour drive from where Jason wants to go (Los Angeles), and there's also an office in NYC, in case Jason decides to go there instead.
Valve Software, creators of Half-Life and it's many branches. Unfortunately, also the creators of the Steam content delivery system. Valve has really been pushing graphics and physics forward for years with their Goldsource and Source engines. Their games are also heavily based in real science, which makes them unusually interesting. Unfortunatly, their head office is in Bellevue, WA.
Square Enix, who has produced innumerable RPGs, including Final Fantasy VII (along with the lesser Final Fantasy games). I really like RPGs and it might be fun to work on them, especially in the sci-fi genre. The US office is in El Segundo, part of Los Angeles. There really isn't much information available on Square's career page, but since the main office is in Tokyo, I'm going to assume bilingualism is a preferred skill, and I' not taking up Japanese any time soon.
I'm still left to decide which specific aspect of game design I want to go into. Right now I'm leaving it at the two main branches that interest me: programming and design.
Thursday, September 04, 2008
While Perched Upon a Ladder, Cleaning Tanks
I planned exactly what I'm going to do for the next five months:
Starting now I'm going to start paying down my credit card debt. The more I can pay off before December, the better off I'll be. I also want to put as much in my savings account as I can. That means I'm really going to have to start watching what I spend and maybe get a little money somewhere on the side.
In December I'll apply for two loans: a vehicle finance loan to buy a used car from craigslist and a student loan so i can go back to school in January. I'll get a big enough vehicle loan from Fifth Third so I can get a $3500-$4500 car and pay a few months of insurance. My student loan is going to be a little different. Being a computer guy and not having a completely functional laptop poses a little bit of a problem. I could get a great PC laptop for $1500, but I'm not. I want to get a Macbook Pro because it's chic (Hypocritical, I know). It's all part of the new image I want to create for myself, but I'll talk about that another time.
January I'll start going back to school at Macomb Community College. Since I'll probably have to take basic classes for my first semester I can continue figuring out what I want my major to be. I'm going into the IT field one way or another, but I don't know specifically what I want to do yet. I want to get involved in a lot of extra curricular stuff too, but I'll figure that out when the time comes.
February is the month our lease expires, so I'll move back into my parents house. It's not the best arrangement and it'll be a pain to drive 22 miles to work and 30 to school, but I'll be able to save a lot of money not paying as much rent and utilities. That will allow me to finish paying off my credit cards, start paying insurance with actual money, save a lot more money, and hopefully make some hefty payments toward my vehicle loan.
At that point I'll try to narrow down the list of jobs I'd like to get at various companies. Rockstar, Revision3, GRC, Square Enix, and Capcom are definitely among them, but that's a new post entirely.
Starting now I'm going to start paying down my credit card debt. The more I can pay off before December, the better off I'll be. I also want to put as much in my savings account as I can. That means I'm really going to have to start watching what I spend and maybe get a little money somewhere on the side.
In December I'll apply for two loans: a vehicle finance loan to buy a used car from craigslist and a student loan so i can go back to school in January. I'll get a big enough vehicle loan from Fifth Third so I can get a $3500-$4500 car and pay a few months of insurance. My student loan is going to be a little different. Being a computer guy and not having a completely functional laptop poses a little bit of a problem. I could get a great PC laptop for $1500, but I'm not. I want to get a Macbook Pro because it's chic (Hypocritical, I know). It's all part of the new image I want to create for myself, but I'll talk about that another time.
January I'll start going back to school at Macomb Community College. Since I'll probably have to take basic classes for my first semester I can continue figuring out what I want my major to be. I'm going into the IT field one way or another, but I don't know specifically what I want to do yet. I want to get involved in a lot of extra curricular stuff too, but I'll figure that out when the time comes.
February is the month our lease expires, so I'll move back into my parents house. It's not the best arrangement and it'll be a pain to drive 22 miles to work and 30 to school, but I'll be able to save a lot of money not paying as much rent and utilities. That will allow me to finish paying off my credit cards, start paying insurance with actual money, save a lot more money, and hopefully make some hefty payments toward my vehicle loan.
At that point I'll try to narrow down the list of jobs I'd like to get at various companies. Rockstar, Revision3, GRC, Square Enix, and Capcom are definitely among them, but that's a new post entirely.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
A Game You Can't Win
Recently I've been playing a nice browser based MMO called Travian. In the game you start out with a randomly located village. You upgrade your resource fields, construct buildings and infrastructure, create armies, band together in alliances, and so on. It's quite fun, albeit a little slow paced at times.
There's this guy in my 7X7 grid who's been raiding my village every day to get resources. At first I panicked, but then I came up with a plan and started slowly rebuilding my defensive buildings. I had founded another village a few weeks before, which I then converted into a nice little military base. I trained about 570 troops there, and about 400 in my main village, shipping them there. When I had an army, I sent all the troops to defend the main village. They held up for about 6 hours.
He sent a few of his normal attacks, consisting of 300 or so troops that I could easily wipe out. Someone from my alliance sent me some reinforcements to make the army extra strong and I thought I was all set. I replaced the few troops he managed to take out and went to work. When I got home all of my troops were dead, my wall had been destroyed, and the guy stole about 20,000 of my resources. All the strategy and effort I put into making sure my village didn't remain a farm was for nothing.
It's kind of a parallel of my life.
Two months ago, I though I was in a really good financial situation so I completely paid off my student loan and made large payments on my credit cards. Immediately, my hours at work got cut by 30%. This month I got a 50 cent raise, which I certainly wasn't expecting. Even though it's not a huge raise it does make a significant difference and I thought I could take advantage of that to quickly pay the remaining balance on my credit cards. But life happens.
I thought going to Baker college would help me get a great (paying) job within a few years. I put an enormous amount of effort into everything I did there and quickly won the recognition of my instructors, but then I ran out of money and dropped out (not really in that order). In reality, it put me in a hole that I just now, four years later, got out of. I thought moving to Chesterfield would give me a chance to save some money to go back to college. I put enormous amounts of effort into my work and trying to make living here as pleasant as possible for everyone, but I'm just digging myself into a new hole that will take another four years to climb out of.
Some days it just seems like no matter what I do and no matter how much effort I put into everything I do, the world just keeps pounding on me and nothing changes. Nothing gets better. Things only stay the same or get worse. Maybe I'm making all the wrong choices. Or maybe I'm making the right choices, but taking the wrong actions. Either way I'm doing something wrong. All I know is that there's no point playing a game you can't win unless you have fun doing so.
There's this guy in my 7X7 grid who's been raiding my village every day to get resources. At first I panicked, but then I came up with a plan and started slowly rebuilding my defensive buildings. I had founded another village a few weeks before, which I then converted into a nice little military base. I trained about 570 troops there, and about 400 in my main village, shipping them there. When I had an army, I sent all the troops to defend the main village. They held up for about 6 hours.
He sent a few of his normal attacks, consisting of 300 or so troops that I could easily wipe out. Someone from my alliance sent me some reinforcements to make the army extra strong and I thought I was all set. I replaced the few troops he managed to take out and went to work. When I got home all of my troops were dead, my wall had been destroyed, and the guy stole about 20,000 of my resources. All the strategy and effort I put into making sure my village didn't remain a farm was for nothing.
It's kind of a parallel of my life.
Two months ago, I though I was in a really good financial situation so I completely paid off my student loan and made large payments on my credit cards. Immediately, my hours at work got cut by 30%. This month I got a 50 cent raise, which I certainly wasn't expecting. Even though it's not a huge raise it does make a significant difference and I thought I could take advantage of that to quickly pay the remaining balance on my credit cards. But life happens.
I thought going to Baker college would help me get a great (paying) job within a few years. I put an enormous amount of effort into everything I did there and quickly won the recognition of my instructors, but then I ran out of money and dropped out (not really in that order). In reality, it put me in a hole that I just now, four years later, got out of. I thought moving to Chesterfield would give me a chance to save some money to go back to college. I put enormous amounts of effort into my work and trying to make living here as pleasant as possible for everyone, but I'm just digging myself into a new hole that will take another four years to climb out of.
Some days it just seems like no matter what I do and no matter how much effort I put into everything I do, the world just keeps pounding on me and nothing changes. Nothing gets better. Things only stay the same or get worse. Maybe I'm making all the wrong choices. Or maybe I'm making the right choices, but taking the wrong actions. Either way I'm doing something wrong. All I know is that there's no point playing a game you can't win unless you have fun doing so.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
A Partly Interesting Day After an Entirely Boring Week
I discovered how to tell the sex of parakeets.
Teenage girls made me give them a high five while stuck in traffic.
I discussed goldfish with a mysterious, beautiful, German woman.
I used Tabasco sauce as a salad dressing.
A hermit crab pinched me and refused to let go.
I created a virus that destroyed all life on Earth.
I watched two brothers discuss The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger.
Teenage girls made me give them a high five while stuck in traffic.
I discussed goldfish with a mysterious, beautiful, German woman.
I used Tabasco sauce as a salad dressing.
A hermit crab pinched me and refused to let go.
I created a virus that destroyed all life on Earth.
I watched two brothers discuss The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger.
Monday, August 04, 2008
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