Feeling Burned Out

It's 2 in the morning and I can't sleep. I'm tired and all, but I just feel so burned out. It started two days ago when I worked all day on my script and scheduling and never actually got anything accomplished. I got up at 11, went to my friend's house at noon and bounced around some ideas for a few hours. We did do other things here and there, namely playing 12 rounds of Fight Night, but it was mostly work. I think I was there until around 7, when I came home and e-mailed some people details about the script. Then Jason came over and we worked on it, and when he left I e-mailed some more people. I didn't end up going to bed until about two that night.

Then yesterday I found out that we had a family of cats behind our shed. The kittens are only a few days old, but I kept going out to feed the mother cat. Then I found an old computer in my garage that I tried to get going. It was missing a hard drive and there were rust shavings on the motherboard, so I had to get some compressed air. I completely took it apart, sprayed it and put it back together and after all that, it won't boot. I think the power supply is bad, but it might be something else and I don't feel like messing with it. On top of this I was tired all day because the doorbell kept waking me up, but I didn't realize it was the doorbell until a few hours later because it sounds like this clock I used to have in Oklahoma.

Then today was just a disaster. I didn't have any clothes to wear, so I immediately had to do laundry. By the time I ended up taking a shower my parents were in and they both wanted the bathroom. Then I was expecting someone to send me a revision of the script like she promised, but she didn't. A bunch of glass objects fell off a shelf today, and I had to explain to my mom how it happened. The mother cat died, and we took in the kittens, feeding them with an ear syringe. Then Jason came over and we went to Meijer. On the way we got pulled over and the cop kept asking for my middle name and my birth-date. This was especially irritating because I don't have any form of state endorsed identification; all I have is my old college ID.

I don't know if I want to be a filmmaker anymore. I really don't. If it's this hard to get six people organized, how am I going to work on a more ambitious project? I'm too impatient and I want to see a result now, not some time a month or two away. I'm just not good at this, but I've wanted to do it for so long. And people tell me I should do it.

I'm going to bed and when I get up I'm going to do something for myself. Maybe. I still have to feed those damn kittens every two hours, which wouldn't be so bad if it didn't take such a long time. I just want some time to be alone (or with Jason) and have fun. Is that too much to ask for?