So That's Why I Don't Drive

It's been am eventful few days and I'm exhausted. But here goes a long one:

Yesterday my mom was starting shit about the house never being clean. Her friend cams over for a visit, which is very unusual at our house. My mom claims that they had to go outside because house is too dirty to entertain people in the dining room. Her solution: cleaning the living room. As soon as 9:30 PM rolled around and my dad went to work, she started yelling about everything she could think of. At first, she told me I didn't have to help her and she could do it on her own, but then she got mad about me taking care of the kittens she brought into the house instead of helping.

It was all okay, because Jason made an unexpected visit later that night. We spent most of the night chatting with my friend Stephanie, which I feel bad for because I should have been spending that time with him. Apparently, one of his friends turned out to be gay., which is surprising because you wouldn't expect it. He's really popular and all that. This almost gave Jason the courage to come out to his myspace friends, and really anyone who looked at his profile. He asked my opinion and I told him it wouldn't bother me if people made the connection between us.

That got me thinking, why should I be ashamed of who I am? I know I've said this before and it's nothing unusual for someone in my opinion, but I made a revelation. Why should I define who I am around being gay? It's not that big a deal. I have interests and a personality too. Why should I just think of myself as that gay guy who happens to like this or that? The solution is obviously that I shouldn't. That was the original intent of this blog, but I got distracted.

With that mentality I woke up this morning ready to return to work on Rich Magazine. It's this simple double sided half fold satirical magazine that I used to make in high school. I copied the old issues to the hard drive in my bedroom to use as a reference and installed Photoshop on my computer because GIMP can run kind of slow. That's when my mom started in. I'll leave out the details, but she thinks I sit around all day playing games.

Anyway, after dinner Mike called me to come over and work on my script. I went over there and we kind of talked it over for a while. Then we went to Talon's house to drive a go cart. I didn't really want to drive it, but I did anyway. I shouldn't have. I was driving with Joe as my passenger and I've never driven a go cart before. I rolled it over. I'm not saying it wasn't my fault, but the thing didn't have brakes. Or seatbelts for that matter. I made it to the end of the field and there is this turn, but immediatly before it there's a dip and I just kind of lost control. I was going too fast too, only because it didn't slow down as fast as I thought it would.

Joe and I are okay, of course. Joe scraped his elbow and bumped his head. I landed on Joe so all I got was bent glasses and a little scrape on my eye brow. I'm more worried about the go cart. It was somewhat dinged up and the rollcage was bent into the steering wheel. Of all the people who could have wrecked it, it was me, less than 20 seconds into the trip. And people wonder why I don't drive. But Joe said it's okay that I almost killed him. I still feel bad about wrecking it though.

After that we had a bonfire and went back to Mike's apartment. I saw a guy I haven't seen since high school which was weird because he's a lot taller now. It was really cool though. And I also did something today that I don't normally do, which is smoke a cigar. Actually, it was half of Mike's cigar, but it was still something. Now I have that burnt kind of flavor in my mouth and I remember why I quit smoking in the first place. I didn't have anything to drink though. I contemplated it, but I didn't want to come home drunk. I don't drink anymore anyway, but it is Memorial Day and all. Or at least it was an hour ago.

I did hear a lot of gay bashing today though. Maybe that's not the right term, it was just people using the term gay in a negative was. A lot. A whole fucking lot. That made me much less willing to come out to any of my friends. But that's okay because I'm happy not using it to define myself. If anyone asks I'll tell them, but only if they ask. My friends are friends with this other gay guy I went to school with named Denny. I don't know what to think or do, so I choose to do nothing,.

So to recap: I didn't get any work done, I'm a bit sore and bruised (I just noticed), I almost killed one of my best friends, I'm not coming out any time soon, I still don't get along with my mom, I'm motivated to do something I want instead of pleasing a bunch of assholes, I smell like smoke, and I am exhausted. But I had a great day.