It's All Been Done

I've been in kind of a rut lately, I've got writer's block again. It's coming up with ideas that always gets me. Maybe it's because I'm in a bad mood all the time, or maybe it's because when I say I'm going to think for myself I'm really just changing the people who think for me. It's really frustrating because I feel like everyone expects so much (this isn't aimed at anyone) but I can only deliver a miniscule amount. It's hard for me to just be myself, but I don't know why. I guess I just don't know how. Any suggestions?

I've been listening to some old Bare Naked Ladies CDs and there's something about them. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I kind of feel happy when I listen to them. I remember when I bought them, all those years ago and how I used to be. It's amazing how much someone can change in just 8 years. It's not really a whole lot of time if you think about it. But when everything is happening all at once and then everything just kind of stops, it really puts things into perspective.

I applied at some more places today (including CVS again), but I was going to do most of it tomorrow because I didn't start feeling good until this afternoon. And now I can't because my mom expects me to clean up after her all day. She acts like all I ever do is sit around and watch TV like her. I try to get things accomplished. I try to do things. I finished that poster and wrote a number of articles, but that doesn't count. If you don't get paid for something it's not important.

It's not my fault she never did anything with her life, but she's taking it out on me. Of all the times she could have started acting up, she chose when I'm actually working on something that's important to me. But it doesn't matter f I ever get to work on the Magazine because "It's not like I'm on a deadline or anything." That really hurts because I like being constructive but I can't with people getting in the way all the time. That's a minor part of the reason that I haven't finished the movie yet. I feel like I can't use the only computer fast enough to handle Vegas, or even GIMP, because it's not mine.

This has all been said before, I'm sure. I just needed to let out some frustration. It's been a while since I've really done that and it feels good. Now I'm going to get some sleep so I can maybe get some time to work on things tomorrow, if I'm lucky.