I just applied for a small car loan at my bank which I would rather have done in person than online, but I'm running out of time and don't know how long it will take to process. I've been putting it off for a while because I'm afraid I won't get it. Without it, I won't have a vehicle and I'm moving 22 miles away from PetSmart in a little over a month. I know it's going to cost a lot to insure, fuel, and pay for, but I don't really have many viable alternatives right now.
I could try to find a super cheap apartment that's withing walking distance from my job, but that's not really likely. The cheapest I recall seeing was $600 a month, which is way too much. That doesn't include utilities and Internet access, either. Of course, I might be able to find something cheaper more toward the Mt. Clemens area, but there are two problems with that: I don't want to live in an area that's any less safe than where I live now, and I'd have to find a job that will pay me enough to live on right away.
I'm just in kind of a shitty situation right now and I don't know what to do so I stay up most of the night worrying about it. That makes it hard to work 6 to noon without feeling run down by the time I leave. And that makes it hard to create the illusion that everything is okay. And that makes me feel bad for making everyone else feel worse.
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Yes, sleep is something that you should definitely be getting.
ReplyDeleteBut rich, that last line: And that makes me feel bad for making everyone else feel worse.... it comes out of nowhere. You're trying to beat yourself up again for something you have really no control over. You're having a bad time, and it's taking it's toll on you. It's okay. People understand that. I'm sure you're not rude or ignorant to people, you're probably just really tired looking and acting. And Rich, EVERYONE has been at that really tired point in their lives, for one reason or another.
To make a long dissertation short: people understand, and they don't mind. Only you mind that you are tired, but that sounds silly, doesn't it, for whatever reason? So you project that onto other people, and suddenly you have a reason to beat yourself up.
It's not a good thing. And I don't really have advice for how to over come it. But I do hope you can, at some point.
And I need your address! The new one. I have to send you your christmas gift... though it'll come late (sorry!). ^_^