Frustration

The overwhelming sense of some unidentified,
Unidentifiable, feeling of general and utterly
Unavoidable wrongness that creeps it's way into
Life at the every inappropriate, inopportune time
Causes a kind of mass panic to happen in my head.
Do I really deserve the possessions
Meager, but absolutely adequate
That have been handed to me without reason?
Is this block in my regular thought process
The result of years of regular self abuse,
Rather than just a short creative doubt?
How much longer can I afford to be
Unfortunately unemployed when
I couldn't even feed myself for
Three days from the Dollar Menu?
Is the four year lack of employment
The result of subconscious sabotage
Or the forced lack of any social experience,
Rather than a lousy job market
In a devastated state?
Where would I be right now if I hadn't made such
Disastrously wrong choices in years past?
And where the Hell am I
Supposed to go from here?